For far too many of us, Valentines day is a not-so-subtle reminder of what we're missing. Whether you are in a relationship or not, we're forced to face the harsh reality that we're just not getting all that we want out of love, we're not getting all that we deserve out of romance and we're certainly not getting back what we've given to our mates. So what's a woman to do?

Now, before you join my Amen corner, could it be that we're looking in the wrong place for that adoration and consideration? Is it even possible for our men to really life up to the expectations that we have set?

I say, Absolutely not!

This Valentines Day, I have the opportunity to look at my life honestly and realize that my man is really doing all that he can to make my life wonderful. He loves spending time with me, takes care of my when I'm sick, rubs my back when I'm achy, shops by any list I give him and checks on me all throughout the day.

I'm not telling you this to brag or to make you judge your man. But what I'm really saying is...if that isn't enough for me, should I blame him or is it up to me to make up the difference? The truth is it is NOT his responsibility to ensure that I get enough love. That's my responsibility.

And if I'm being totally open & honest, I have to admit that I need a lot more. To start, I need more intimacy, more encouragement, more affirmation, and more adoration.

Of course, I can put pressure on him to be all that I need...but that's not fair to him and that's not how I will ultimately get the fullness of what I need. The bottom line is this: the love that I'm (we're) yearning for and longing for could never be satisfied by our men. Its not a love that they are equipped to fulfill. What we're missing can only come through me and my intimate relationship with God.

What I'm really being drawn to is that unconditional, never ending, all sufficient and never failing love that draws out the absolute best in me. Wouldn't you agree?  Its a nurturing love, a compassionate love, a secure and unselfish love. Its a God kind of love. And as long as we continue to look to our men to fulfill it, we will continue to be disappointed.

So let's allow this Valentines Day to provide us with an opportunity to identify what we're missing, needing and yearning for and decide to do whatever it takes to nurture our spiritual relationship to ensure that we get it.

There's a lot more meat on this bone...but I'll stop here and pick up with it later on. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Hit the boards and tell us what you think.