Day 28 -- Have you ever found it hard to tell your friend 'The Truth'?
Why is it so hard? Maybe it's because we don't want to upset them, or we don't want to hurt their feelings. Or maybe we just don't want to embarrass them nor ourselves. Perhaps we don't want to change the dynamic of the relationship, or we don't want to be subjected to the same brutal honesty ourselves. Whatever the reason, it is always easier to ignore it and just mind your own business. But is withholding the truth really being a friend? The answer is NO. Be Her Friend and Tell Your Friend the Truth…in Love!
The Book of Life says that 'it takes iron to sharpen iron'. Sharpening yourself or making yourself stronger requires that you brush up against something/someone just as strong or stronger than yourself. There must be an increased amount of friction. Sometimes there are sparks and even heat is produced, until one or both of the two are changed into a sharper blade. The end result is a blade that can cut far better, faster and easier than before. That's what an 'equally yoked' friendship is designed to produce. Interestingly enough, marriage is designed to work the same way...but I digress.
So, what this tells us is that growth comes through confrontation. Unfortunately, not everyone is mature enough to handle gentle, loving correction.
Here are some guidelines to help make it easier for you to tell your friend the truth -- in Love.
When giving correction -- Always remember to 'Wrap it in LOVE'
Be compassionate and sensitive to your friend's feelings. Consider how you would feel if your friend had to tell you something about your negative behavior.
- For every 1 behavior that needs correction, identify 3 things that she is doing right.
- Tell her the great things that you notice her doing, the things that you appreciate or the things that you recognize as an effort that she's making, in the right direction.
- Then, and only then, should you present and discuss 'the offense'.
- When you've finished, remind her that you are her friend and that you really care enough to tell her the truth. Remind her of the importance of the friendship and what your friendship with her means to you.
- Thank her for being willing to hear what you have said
- Ask her how she would like you to support her in making the behavior shift/adjustment.
- Give hugs all around and trust that your friendship just grew stronger as a result of your honesty and willingness to Be a True Friend.
