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Welcome to Queenie's

new advice column 

Ask Queenie!

Get Queenie's heartfelt response to

your burning questions about Self-Love,

Spirituality and Relationships.

 

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Queenie's Recent FaceBook Posts & Replies

 
Why can't women remain alone after a break up?
You know guys & girls, the truth is...Women are hard wired to be in a relationship. It's part of our DNA to have someone to care for, love on, and support (emotionally).

And so the problem is two fold - 1) Many of us (including myself) have our self esteem wrapped up in our ability to be successful at caring for, loving on and emotionally supporting our mate. When we 'fail' at it, (by having to deal with a relationship that ends), we tend to want to find another relationship to prove that we are a 'good woman' or 'good enough'.

The second part of the problem is that the dating scene nowadays has women sacrificing so much of themselves with so little in return, that we are depleted. Unfortunately, many women only know 1 way to replenish themselves and that is through the validation of a man.

So, the bottom line is this. Women (myself included) need to heal our self-esteem which will in turn allow us to not only be comfortable 'between relationships' but also be unwilling to choose unhealthy relationships just for the sake of not being alone.

I'm sure there are many other reasons. But these are just a few thoughts to consider.
 
Darline replied to your post.
Goodness, Queenie...you hit the nail on the head. That's absolutely it! A woman's self-esteem is definitely wrapped around her ability to care for and love and emotionally support her mate. That is absolutely true. You tend to think of yourself as a failure or selfish if you give up...or quit. That's why I never walk away from any situation unless I've given it at least 150%. And then once I've tried everything I can, and done all I know how, I feel I can leave, walk away with a clear conscience, not feeling like such a failure. But that urge to reconnect is always there. Forever strong...
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Matt 22:36-40 (Paraphrased)  Love God First...Then Love Yourself...So that You Can Fully Love ALL Others!